A Morning Page

As I couldn’t find a good subject to write about this days, I felt that my inspiration had withered. Even the interesting daily prompts are not giving me any help. I am not saying here that the daily posts are stopping to be  motivating or enjoyable.But, as I am feeling down this last few days, I couldn’t accomplish any prompt.

I just set in front of my screen, read the prompt many times and then start to jump from one to another. Sometimes, I start to write a few words about a prompt. Then, I just stop. It’s like I am totally wearied or maybe it’s procrastination.

Seven days a week and all days are becoming the same. Although, I had two weeks break from school. I didn’t do anything original or something that might change my mood, or make me feel any better.

This week I am back to school. It’s good to see the friends, meet the teachers, get your grades, and re-embrace the college life.But, my friends and hanging out is not doing me any good. My teachers are blaming my low performance. And my grades are not well.

I am writing this post 3:09 am in the morning, which means that I am not getting enough sleep. My mind is empty and I am running out of cigarettes. I am losing balance.

I had a conversation with a friend yesterday at school about her future house, art, and motivation. Though, she had dominated most of the dialogue, I liked her motivation when she was talking about all the things that she loves and affects her. On the other hand, when she talked about art and how she could let go herself for the thing that might drive her beyond this world into another world of her own creation, imagination, and perception. A thought had crossed my mind about myself, about how I was not enjoying my time lately, about feeling down, and most of all how I could reincarnate myself and my motivation.

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2 thoughts on “A Morning Page”

  1. Several things for you my friend.
    Sometimes when you are looking to close at something (including life), you can’t see the whole thing. Stepping back from it, you can see more. “The view is different from a distance then it is when your staring at it up close.” Meaning that in life you sometimes need to step back away from it, and clear your mind. The answers will come when you are not over thinking about it.
    Find a bench and watch the world around you. See the people, flowers, buildings, sun, trees. Take slow deep breaths and relax so your mind relaxes, your body relaxes.
    Next laugh a lot! Laugh at the mistakes you make, laugh at jokes, laugh at life. Smile at the world. Smile and be grateful for everything you have (no matter how small), you earned it, and made it happen. Be thankful for everything around you, God, family, friends, health, and most of all for the struggles.
    With everything that happens in life, you have two choices: 1) Let it control you. 2) Let it strengthen you. Everything that has happened to you in life, or will happen to you in the future should make you stronger, a better man and human. Strength comes from both the blessings, and the struggles.
    Good luck my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sounds as if you could be experiencing some depression. Outdoors in the sun, exercise, proper nutrition, good sleep–and maybe a trip to your doctor for some medical help. Hope you feel better soon 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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